Confessions of a Drama Princess

goddessgermaine @ 2009-09-11T03:42:00

2009-09-11T07:43:22Z

I met Mike Babcock, Pavil Datsyuk, Johnathon Erikson, and a whole bunch of the wings guys! I almost peed my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goddessgermaine @ 2009-09-02T19:41:00

2009-09-02T23:40:57Z

Still pregnant. Sorry to disappoint you.

Baby is healthy. I'm losing weight. All is good.

Think on this

2009-06-09T20:05:26Z

How long has it been sense any of you have contacted me? Texted, talked, left comments. Think on it.......................

Update

2009-04-27T00:40:53Z

So it's a Boy, I'm thinking Aidian William. Whatcha all think?

Sums it up

2009-02-04T01:25:50Z

"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."
--Robert Frost

Is this a suprise?

2008-11-27T01:44:20Z

everyone read

2008-11-23T21:05:12Z

I am done making the effort. I try to talk to my so called "friends" and ya'll are too busy or not around. If you wanna be my friend make the damn effort. I'm sick of being the only one trying.

goddessgermaine @ 2008-11-17T17:23:00

2008-11-17T22:24:09Z

If you saw ME in a police car, what would you think I'd been arrested for?

Answer me, then if you want, post to your own journal and see how many crimes you get accused of.

I'm wonder woman today, but with a fatter ass

2008-09-15T10:16:02Z

So to update.....

The puppies are almost ready to be sold. I'm selling them both for 250, then getting the MAMA fixed. I'm not going through that crap again.

I am now working 2 full time jobs. I'm working as a CNA at the county care facility down here. So far it's a pretty awesome job. The whole 16hrs a day is kinda kicking my ass. But eh fuck it I'll live.

Hopefully with the money from the 2 jobs I will be able to pay my bills and finally get a car of some sort.

John came up and visited me. He was here for 4 days. He brought some stuff here, and basically we just had a ton of sex. Then on weds when he was suppose to leave he asked me to come back. And I said no, and told him that he had to leave so I could goto my parents and do laundry. Oddly enough the goodbye that morning brought the one thing that I needed the most. A little bit of closure and that part of my life. I feel lighter, like maybe the sun is getting just a little brighter. One thing is for sure. I will never go back to him up there. He would have to come down here, and I don't ever see that happening so I think i'm safe.

Total weight loss as of yesterday : 50lbs. I'm damn close to being under 210. Makes me proud of myself. Might have to go get a massage. I get half off at the spa inside the hotel i work at. So it's kinda win win.......

That's pretty much it........................ I'm wonderwoman.......but the outfit rides up.....

goddessgermaine @ 2008-06-05T20:15:00

2008-06-06T00:17:05Z

I leave on Sat. I tried to say goodbye to everyone and I couldn't. Cell is 9063704703. If you have anything of mine, or vice versa let me know. Sabrina can either take or give................

Bye everyone

Numb

2008-05-26T23:29:40Z

As I come home, I drive up to our building
My stomach starts getting knots in it
Out house is not a home anymore

I sit in our living room, just minding my own business
And then you start in on your tirades on bitching
No matter what I do I can't seem to block you out

When you call my cell phone, you never leave a positive message
Would it kill you to day "How was your day?"
Instead of screaming in the phone, as I pull it away from my ear

I can't make myself feel anything for you
My heart has become so numb and frozen
All the hurtful words have cut deep inside

There is no way to resurrect the love we once had
So many things have been said that can never be taken back
I just can't make myself love you

As hard as it is to let go after all these months
I want to feel a pulse in my body, and live life to the fullest
One day I will be free to chase my dreams and love again.

........

2008-05-19T21:23:08Z

So for those of you who don't know what really been going on lately with me here's the deal:

1) John beat me up. I've got a split lip and some pretty nasty bruises.

2) John left me because he "Doesn't like me, and was in it for the money and sex"

3) Can't afford my apartment, so asking Carolyn to move in with me.

4) I am taking both dogs, if he takes or doesn't anything to either dog I will call the cops.

5) Working two jobs and trying to find a 3rd.

Pretty much it............

goddessgermaine @ 2008-03-10T16:19:00

2008-03-10T21:20:14Z

11 days till lift off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goddessgermaine @ 2008-03-07T19:29:00

2008-03-08T00:29:18Z

14 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goddessgermaine @ 2008-03-05T19:50:00

2008-03-06T00:50:41Z

15 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet

2008-03-04T01:28:01Z

17 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Till I finally get a real break. I can't wait. YAY love you Kaylyn

Update

2008-02-17T03:20:27Z

So I just cannot seem to win at life anymore. I wish I could just give up. I am so sick of all this grown up bull shit. I am not cut out for politicking, being hated, used, and thrown around like I mean nothing. I have been lied to continuously for the last 3 months. In every aspect of my life right now all there is is lies. It's all starting to add up to more than I can take. I've done good so far, I haven't really flipped out or anything. Most people are noticing I'm a lot quieter, I am starting to get very very depressed. I really don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. I will never be better than what I am. I am doomed to minimum wage jobs, and to live my life without love. I barely spoke today when I got home. But somehow I am still "high maintenance" because I dare to ask for a kiss before bed. OMG I am a horrible person for that apparently. Why does my life have to be so shitty? I don't know what I did in life to deserve this, karma hates me. The only joy in my life right now is frank. How sad is that? The only thing that makes me happy is a dog. What sucks is where I am now, I will never get married, never have any type of family, never get out of debt, and never be happy. But I am stuck here. Stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck.......................................... I wish I never would have decided to goto Michigan Tech. I wish I would have taken the sous chef job when it was offered. I wish I would have walked away when I had the chance. I wish I never would have gotten myspace, livejournal, or facebook. I wish I would have truly OD'd. I wish that I wouldn't have fucked things up with Jeri because I was scared. I wish I still had Leland to balance me. I wish I had real friends. I just want to drive my car off a cliff, or speed around a corner and into a tree, or maybe go flying into another car. The ending would be the same. I would be dead, so no one would have to worry about how I am going to react to something, or about how much drama I'm going to create, or that I'm not mature enough, or to opinionated, or that I breathe each day and it kills you to have to watch it.

The end

How

2008-01-15T02:05:41Z

How can you still someone something that you know will upset them a great deal, but you have to let them know they hurt you?

Definitely applies in my life right now. Let just say twice now I've been burnered....

goddessgermaine @ 2008-01-12T19:58:00

2008-01-13T00:59:14Z

I have managed to get together 50. Still 100 to go in one week.....FUCK

goddessgermaine @ 2008-01-06T13:25:00

2008-01-06T18:26:33Z

I need 150 or i goto jail, how awesome is that? Fuck

And I am broke

07 recap Mychelle style

2008-01-01T19:38:59Z

Well I guess I"ve had a very interesting year. I'll do a little recap for those of you that don't get to spend time around me, or just wanna know..

WORK:
I started out the year working at OLOM got Fired.
Started at McDonolds, hated it.
Worked for Taco Bell, hated it and got fired.
Got hired at Arby's, and I love it so far,
Got hired at RGIS Inc., looks like a promising job.

LOVE:
Met John in January and fell hopelessly for him.
Had my heart broke by him in march.
Moved in with John in May.
Still living with him, he still pretty much doesn't like me though. Which sucks cuz I pretty much love him.

LIFE:
Sold the corsica to Katie's mom. She still hasn't given me all the money for it yet.
The buick dies if it gets to hot, not like a normal die either.
Go a new puppy named Frank.
Leland ran away, but has got a new family with kids so I'm happy for him.
Still want to kill myself everyother day.
Still no health insurance, so my Chron's is getting bad, and my manics are getting worse. My depression is getting pretty bad too.

FRIENDS:
My friend Sabrina beat me up, still love her though.
Kerith moved away, and I just found out she changed her number without giving me her new one. I also learned that it's harder for me to survive without the attention and love she gave me.
Still talk to Caith, hes gotta make sure I'm still sane.
Carolyn and I are getting alot closer. She's so great to hang out with. Her and Joe have really been around for me alot this year. I don't know what I would do without them.
Had some great friends over the summer. Lacey, Jon I, Dan W, Robbbie, Brian W, Brian K, Shanna, Jamie, Tom, Amanda, Chris, Joey, Tim, Angela, Melissa, April, Tim, Amy, Ames, and D'Lene. I don't talk to most of them anymore, not really friends anymore with over half. It's sad.
Learned how much I really do like Bethy, even though I wanna kill her most of the time. She's been around when I needed someone.

FAMILY:
My mom got a new job, which she seems to like.
My dad is still the grumpy old man he always is.
Mitch and Courtney had a baby. My pretty little niece Ella. She's so cute.
My grandma still makes a living off of ebay, I wish I could.

In 08 I've set a few goals. Let's see if I can achieve any of them. Here they are:

1. Make myself happier more often.
2. I am going to try and make a career out of both jobs. Both places have already started to hint at me moving up the ladders pretty quickly.
3. Get the buick so that it is running like a real car should be.
4. Pay off all my credit cards, but keep the accounts open so my credit rating goes up.
5. Start paying off some of my student loans.
6. Try to get money saved so I can so back to school this coming August if I get accepted.
7. Repaint the bathroom a teal color so it looks like your underwater.
8. Save money so I can buy the dress Kerith desides on for her wedding. (If she still wants me in it)
9. Lose about 65 pounds. My goal weight is 170.
10. Get health insurance so I can get everything taken care of.

Whether or not I actually so these things is a whole nother story. But I sure as hell am going to try.

goddessgermaine @ 2007-12-13T18:58:00

2007-12-13T23:59:00Z

I have managed to fail at life again.......

Mother Fucker

2007-11-26T02:42:40Z

So Leland ran away....

You may think I i am insane but he gave me a look of pure hatred before he took off.

I'm not going to look for him, he will come home if it's where he wants to be.

I miss him though......

goddessgermaine @ 2007-11-17T20:23:00

2007-11-18T01:24:46Z

Still no crying, still no feelings. It's nice, starting to confuse people, but nice.

Been awhile

2007-11-09T03:42:12Z

It's been awhile sense I've posted something on here that really means anything. Usually it's just to get some attention. Probably because I am a little bit attention starved. I feel like my life has become stagnant. I have nothing to look forward to, I have no future, I really have nothing. I try to fix something just to watch it break more. I can't even complain about my feelings right now because I'm not even sure about them anymore. It's like my entire world has frozen, I can't feel a thing anymore. I know I should be happy or unhappy, or at least mad. But instead all I feel is indifferent. It's like something broke inside me today, the loss of something, I am not quite sure. But I just stopped feeling, right then and there, nothingness. I don't really know how to view the loss. I can blame several things and for everyones benefit I'm gonna put a few on here
1) I've fallen in love with someone that doesn't want me.
2) I have no real friends left in the UP that have time for me.
3) Why should I share my problems with my "friends" when I feel stupid about them?
4) Why didn't my best friend want me in her wedding?
5) Am I not good enough to be a manager at fucking taco bell?
I have more, but those are on the top of the list. The correct order should be 4, 1, 2, 5, 3
I quit the SCA because of a few people, I don't think I ever really liked it anyways. I think it might have been something I did just to pass the time. Maybe even to just feel like I belonged. But that didn't happen. In fact I think the SCA did more harm to me than good. I felt like an outsider at almost every event I attended, I never fit in and I never will. I know that now, hurts a little but that's life. I only joined (sad thing right here) so I could make sure Mike didn't cheat on me with Cammey. I have this sad paranoia of someone I love cheating on me. Adam kinda made it worse. It's the same reason I joined Deosil. Sad Sad Sad. I will admit I made some great friends, but I made more fake ones. Usually I would be in tears as I'm typing something like this. But tonight I have no tears, not even a sad face. Maybe I have accepted what's happened and what my life is. I'm not really sure. Quite frankly right now, I don't want to be sure.